Jack and Jill live tweets

So for the xx installment of #livetweets, I give you Jack and Jill, starring Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler. By far one of the stupidest movies I've had to preview let alone sit through. There were some funny things but please excuse any dry, unwitty tweets, it was a struggle to come up with anything while my brain cells were dying. To quote myself, "This movie is the joke." -Drew Schlosser #JacknJilllivetweets

#JacknJilllivetweets comin at your face son!
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

If Adam Sandler fetches a pail of water in this movie, I might do something drastic. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

Here's an idea for a movie, Adam Sandler has a sister, but it is also Adam Sandler. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

This is a fake movie. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

I thought it was bad that Sandler was starring in this movie twice, but Al Pacino is in it too. He's better than this. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

My phone battery is dying. Even my phone wants to kill itself during this movie. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

He is the ugliest woman. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

Sorry but this movie is the joke. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

That old lady will give me nightmares. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

Most farts in a PG movie. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

Sandler is double dutching with himself. What am I watching? #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

Now he is cross dressing, but it's not like he has been doing it the whole movie. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

David Spade as Snooki. Who knew? #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

Al Pacino what have you become?! #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

Dunkaccino. No no no no no. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

This movie. No words. Glad it's over. #JacknJilllivetweets
— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 13, 2012

Dream House Live Tweets

I actually forgot I live twote this movie, (the past tense of tweet, tweeted sounds incorrect). This was a forgettable movie however. It wasn't funny and it wasn't scary. CHECK IT OUT!




*Drew's Preview Review*
It's not catching on Drew stop trying to make it happen!

Tonight's live tweet feature is Dream House! Don't know much about it though, I'm gonna guess a haunted house. #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

Of course there are creepy voices on the basement, it's a dream house. #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

Oh, it was just some teenage cult worshipping some murders in your dream house. #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

You mean you haven't heard about the murders in your dream house? They died in your room! #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

I'm gonna sneak into the murderer's apartment. Surely this can't be a bad idea. #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

Guys murders his family but gets 5 years and probation. Reasonable. #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

Wait a second... He's the guy. The guy is him. His name is a number. What? #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

#SpoilerAlert Daniel Craig stars in Shutter Island 2. #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

Dream House just Secret Window'ed halfway through. #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

Dream House, more like Nightmare House. Am I right? #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

Wait a second, not its not, no he didn't. This movie has more twists than a 50s sock hop. #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

It's like Secret Window and Shutter Island together except he was the good guy. And I don't mean that in a good way. #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

Dream House was not at all what I expected. Go into it expecting nothing and pretending you didn't read this. #DreamHouselivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 21, 2011

Short, sweet, and not that entertaining. Sorry guys.

Spy Kids 4D: All The TIme In The World (Now in Aromascope!)

What a perfect movie for some #livetweets am I right? This movie had a scratch card that smelled along with the movie, which didn't make it any better at all. But Joel McHale was in it, and I like him, so that was nice. Also if you haven't noticed these tweets are embedded. So if you have a twitter account you can retweet these stupid tweets from way back in October! Maybe I should post these in a more timely manner. Let's get started with another Drew's Preview Review! Oh, is that not catching on yet? Who Nose!? (aromascope joke)

You're all in for a treat tonight. Tonight's live tweet movie preview is Spy Kids 4D! In Aroma-Scope!#SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

Get your 3D glasses on and your Aroma-scope cards ready for the movie of the sensory! (Century) #badjoke #terriblejoke #offtoagreatstart

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

Jessica Alba is a pregnant spy. #countmein #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

This aroma-scope card smells like vitamins. #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

Jessica Alba plays a spy and Joel McHale plays a spy hunter, but get this, they're married! #ohtheirony #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

Stepmom got blue cheesed! #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

"Our stepmom is a spy?" #storyofmylife #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

Oh my god Alexa Vega... is old. #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

#5 on my aroma-scope card smells like chocolate pinesol! #spoileralert #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

#6 is a baby fart! #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

And #7 is a dog fart! What is going on? #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

Oh shi...taki mushrooms. #classic #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

Omg ginger spy kid did not age well. Time has done a number on him. #niceface #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

Glad this movie had time travel, kept me interested. #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

The news anchor is part turtle. Just trust me. #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

The last scent is a summary of the whole movie, it smells like crap. #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

I'm sorry that was harsh. This was the fourth best kids based spy movie I've seen. #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

In all seriousness, I love you @joelmchale #SpyKids4Dlivetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 14, 2011

#MagaritaChallenge

Join the fiesta as I #livetweet Liz (@LizBreshears) daringly taking on the Magarita Challenge at La Fuente, a local Mexican Restaurant.

Liz is at La Fuente thinking she can do this Magarita Challenge and win a tshirt. Naturally, I'm going to #livetweet it. #MagaritaChallenge

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

#MagaritaChallenge twitter.com/DrewVSchlosser…

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

You have to drink two to get the shirt. Same flavor though, no enjoying this. #MagaritaChallenge

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

2 minutes in, "I'm getting full." -@lizbreshears #MagaritaChallenge

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

Almost had a disqualification. Full mouth coughing attack. Slow it down girl. #MagaritaChallenge

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

Unrelated: I ordered the Mexican chili. Bad decision or worst decision ever? #MagaritaChallenge

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

First one down. In record time! #MagaritaChallenge twitter.com/DrewVSchlosser…

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

92 oz. of mango magarita = t shirt #MagaritaChallenge

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

Number 2 #MagaritaChallenge twitter.com/DrewVSchlosser…

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

We have hit a wall people. #MagaritaChallenge

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

Usually the #MagaritaChallenge has no time limit, but they close at 11. #MagaritaChallenge

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

What if I die from this? Drew can I die from this? -@lizbreshears #MagaritaChallenge

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

#MagaritaChallenge twitter.com/DrewVSchlosser…

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

We are starting the free t shirt chant! Final stretch! #MagaritaChallenge #freetshirt #freetshirt

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

Almost! #MagaritaChallenge twitter.com/DrewVSchlosser…

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

Last drop! #commitment #MagaritaChallenge twitter.com/DrewVSchlosser…

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

WINNER! #MagaritaChallenge twitter.com/DrewVSchlosser…

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

Victory! #MagaritaChallenge Next stop: Bathroom twitter.com/DrewVSchlosser…

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) January 7, 2012

And we all know what happened next...
Great Job Liz!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 Live Tweets

Geez, could that title get any longer? Anyway, third installment of the #livetweets or should I say Drew's Preview Review? Eh? I don't know if that will stick, I don't want to force it. Here is my commentary watching HP7. Sorry fans don't get too mad at me. I can't find a good magical joke to throw in this intro. Let's just start.

Im previewing Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Pt2 tonight. Should I do #HP7livetweets or am I the only one who thinks this joke is funny?

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Welp no one said not to but maybe yall are so indifferent you dont give a Scabbers ass. #firstHarryPotterjoke #offtoabadstart #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Is it important to see the other Potter movies before this? Why do they all have wands? What is magic? #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Ron looks like a ginger Jesus. #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

A bank with a roller coaster? I'd invest in that. #notajoke #stoptryingdrew #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

A bloody dragon! Cool. #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Quickly finding out there arent a lot of jokes in the movie. I think Im gonna quit embarassing myself. You were right America #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

One last thought. Harry Potter does not look good shirtless. #thatsall #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Cho Chang is a walking contradiction. #starbust #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Not the Quidditch field! Oh the humanity! #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Didn't Tonks just have a baby? Why is she fighting? She is no condition to fight. #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

No! Lavender Brown! You and Ron were perfect for each other! #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Everybody's dying! Gahhh! I wish things were back to books 1-3! #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Ooohhh, so that's why Snape has been such an asshole. #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

"I see dead people." -Harry Potter #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Was that a barbecue dipped fetus? Nope. Voldemort. #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Who wants an awkward hug from Uncle Voldy? #dracodoes #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Um, Harry, you just broke the Elder Wand. Are you mad? #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

Harry did not age well. #understatement #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011

That's it, the end of an era. And no one is awake to appreciate how unfunny I am. Thanks guys, it was fun. #HP7livetweets

— Drew Schlosser (@DrewVSchlosser) October 7, 2011