the devil's paste

Answer of the Day: The Mother Effin' United States of America!!!

well, thanks for reminding me. not.

this last project for design we had to cut and paste different shapes of colored paper to make an abstract design. and yea, it's not as simple as that, so don't think you know what to do. I chose to use rubber cement to glue the pieces down. more like the glue from hell. first i had to go at like one in morning to go buy some. it's pretty cheap though, which may be the reason i've had so much gall darn trouble with it. when i got home, i couldn't break the freakin' seal off the thing. i couldn't find the part you rip and i was getting pissed off. eventually i just twisted it so hard that the cap twisted off with the plastic wrap still on the lid and i got glue all over my hands. wow... wow.
i went to the sink to wash it off, but this stuff isn't your typical school glue. although it is elmer's. it's such a pain to get off, i wash washing my glue coated hands for like five minutes. i was working on my bedroom floor and my hands started to pick up dust and stuff in the carpet! i'm getting this gray lint stuck to my fingers! i tried rubbing off the semi dried lint and that sort of solved the problem. i continued to cut and glue paper and so on. i reached for the glue, and i am having a problem with this, the lid wasn't 100% screwed on, sooo i grabbed the lid and the brush flung rubber cement all over the back of my hand and fingers. wow... wow back to the sink.
after cleaning myself up for the second time, i returned to work. measuring and cutting paper. such a trbl project, i know. as i grabbed the glue, i saw it was on it's side. and since this glue was conjured up from hell, of course the entire container would spill out into a pool on my bedroom carpet. wow... wow.
so here i am, early morning scooping up handfuls of rubber damnation with paper towels out of my carpet. i was almost unable to finish. luckily, there was just enough remnants on the inside to swab up to turn in my project the next day. i just threw some paper towels on the great lake of rubber hell glue and went to sleep.
for the second part of this project we had to cut out images and paste them on. i decided to give elmer's glue a second try. besides sloppily getting glue on myself, things went pretty smoothly. i can't blame the glue for me rushing to get this done. when i came to class, i was laughing this whole glue thing off. i wanted to tell my classmates my story. i reached into my bag to take out my ruler... it's covered in glue. the freakin' demon glue spilled inside my bag on my art tools and i discovered this while reaching into my bag and getting glue-fingered, all while explaining the terrors of rubber cement itself. wow... wow.
i hate rubber cement